


I know i'm losing you

by Lorylthorn



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Historical References, OC romance, Romantic Fluff, WW2 Alternate History
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-11
Updated: 2015-10-11
Packaged: 2018-04-25 21:17:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,116
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4976893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lorylthorn/pseuds/Lorylthorn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Colonel Rutherford wasn't a romantic man by nature, far from it actually. He had not interest in the silly dalliances the rest of his men enjoyed, dancing freely with every women that walked onto base, women in Thedas couldn't resist an Inquisition solider in uniform. He knew how to keep it in his pants, At least that's what he thought until she had joined the inquisition.</p>
<p>A romantic one shot based in a 1940's AU.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I know i'm losing you

**Author's Note:**

> I thought to myself one day, What would Thedas be like if it was set in a more modern time period? Who doesn't want to imagine Cullen Rutherford standing tall and proud in the face of occult oppression with the women he loves at his side in the backdrop of the swinging 1940's?
> 
> Fingers cross i'll find the time to continue this into a series, I've spent countless hours at work daydreaming of each inner circles part in this world and i'm excited to explore all the possibilities.. and all the vehicles! Curly WILL ride into battle mounted on the front of a Tank XP

Haven was a wash with activity as people celebrated the breech’s demise. People danced and jived to the music that echoed throughout the army bases cobbled streets, a mixture of swing and jazz floated through the air as the inhabitants of haven drank and partied in abundance to the music that broadcast loudly from the makeshift tannoy system, strung between lamp posts that lined the the rain slicked streets.

Only a few hours ago the streets had been deserted, Captain Lorelai Thorn knew this for fact, seeing as she had been left behind with what remained of the 4th Armoured. She had spent the few hours she had shuffling paperwork while her commanding officers and comrades made the trip up the perilous frostbacks to close the giant green rift that had been looming over them. Parvus had joked at her about it while she had helped pack the transport trucks, leaning lazily against the green canvas of the massive 2 tonne truck while she lifted backbreaking heavy crates into the back. his excuse was pitiful really, Dorian hadn’t wanted to damage his delicate hands - because andraste forbid they had only one fighter pilot on the entire base, shock horror!

She couldn’t be bitter though, the breech was closed and now the street’s hummed with activity again, people were happy even if she had been left behind to babysit a deserted army camp and a handful of rattling tanks. Orders were orders though, she had followed her Commander's orders to the T and now she was reaping the benefits along with everyone else.

With the breech closed, the weather had changed. No longer did snow hide the patchwork stone streets that lined haven, instead rain ran along gutters and pooled in drains that hadn't seen use in many years. The rain had obscured many things, the captains vision included but she could smell him way before he was even upon her. The soft subtle smell of honey and sandalwood mixed with the harsh hazy scent of smoke that always surrounded him. She could imagine the cigarette in his hand as he approached from behind, hard leather boots cracking against the rough cobbles as he lazily made his way up to the bench she had claimed as her own, a glass of merlot in hand as she listened contently to the music from afar. An old oak tree did its best to shelter her from the worst of the rain but occasional showers made its way past the trees protective shelter, dousing those below in water.

“I thought you would of been up there with the men’” The rough growl of Rutherford’s voice had burned hot against Lorelai’s ears as he lent down against the bench, exhaling a puff of smoke that danced between them before vanishing in the thick water droplets that enveloped them. Colonel Rutherford was a welcome distraction from the music but she could hear the subtle inflections in his voice as he looked up at the wash of olive drab that danced off in the distance, the rain had distorted much of their view but the music kept on playing regardless of the weathers intentions. Nothing was going to stop the party was it? she chuckled at the thought as she reclined back in the bench, taking a sip from her glass as her commanding officer lent cross armed against the backrest, studying those off in the distance with interest.

“Are you not enjoying the party?” he joked, inhaling another long drawn out toke of his cigarette.

“What can I say Commander, I was never one for large crowds” She retorted, revelling in the rains languid manner as it fell, disconcerned with the crowds and loud noise as droplets rolled off the front of her peaked officer's cap, the occasion had called for formality but the hat had protected her hair from the worst of the rain, all bar the few earthy blonde strands that poked out from underneath that matted to her face in defiance.

“Clearly” he scoffed ”You do not mind my company I hope?” 

She could almost imagine the smirk on his face,the way his wry smile pulled at the scar upon his top lip and how they curled into a lopsided smile that always made her blush, he must of known what those sly smiles did to her but then again she had always been a sucker for a man in uniform. The colonel was no exception with his fur lined bomber jacket, Dress cap and those rather snug fitting twill pants he always wore, regardless of the weather or situation. She didn’t need to see his face to imagine the smile that he wore now, she could easily close her eyes and vividly recall every small detail.

How long had she loved this man? Hid her affections from him as they worked tirelessly throughout the nights on strategy and tactics. How many evenings had they paced the command tent privately pushing small wooden tokens across the table, trying to imagine every possible way their attacks would be countered or troops defeated. To many evenings had been lost under the pallid glow of those tungsten lights, watching those beautiful amber eyes furrow in concern as they argue about transport lines and troop movements.

“I’m sure I can tolerate it for one more evening Commander” A half hearted chuckle escaped her lips as realisation dawned on her that soon this would end. Soon those beautiful amber eyes would be focused on someone else and she would be back to a simple captain, fighting for respect in a male dominated world of war. He was the only man who had ever respected her rank and not belittled her because of her gender and it was one of the many reason’s she had grown to look upon the commander with fondness and adoration.

“Only one? “

"Surely you can not expect us to stay, the breech is closed and I-" she was cut off before she could finish her sentence.He had physically moved then, straightening his back as he pushed away from the bench. He had always paced when he was agitated or angry, she had always joked that he would wear a hole in the carpet one day which had always made him laugh but right now she could feel the agitation in him, seeping out of him as he took another deep inhale of his cigarette. Rutherford was definitely upset about something and she could feel her heart tightening in her chest defiantly as she tried to quell the rising heat that flushed red on her face.

“We still have a lot of work to do Captain, you can’t abandon me now... not while we still have forces out in the Hinterlands and Storm coast,” for a brief moment she could almost feel the urgency in his words as they left his lips stumbling other them as he forced them out, he didn't want her to go at least not yet. Maybe those long nights had meant more to him then she had dreamed to hope?

Lorelai could hear him taking one final draw of his cigarette, he always heaved a heavy sigh when he was done, she could only imagine the heady relief the nicotine gave from the perpetual headaches he almost always suffered from but the moan that escaped his lips was different, more resigned than usual. something had shifted inside him and she couldn’t fathom out what.

He moved from his perch behind her bench, his footsteps soft against the cobbled floor as he moved along to the music in the background, his footfall mimicking the crashing of the baseline as he walked, tapping to the beat as he pace around to face her, lifting the brim of her hat up, just high enough so he could see those blue eyes beneath the olive green on her dress uniform. It was so bland and outdated but Cullen had dare not mention it to Josephine who had loved the green, although it offered no real camouflage out here in the frostbacks.

Her heart stopped for a moment. A blissful heartrending moment that seemed like an eternity as his knuckles brushed against her cheek, she could feel the colour rising as she dared look at her commander for what could be the last time. Cullen hadn't shaved again, rough stumble adorned his jawline line, defining the chiseled features of his face against the low glow of night, the moon offering little light as it hung low in the sky - cigarette stub hanging lazily from his lips as he smiled at her beneath heavy eyelids. He was tired, she could see it clear as day with heavy set rings around his eyes but he was hiding it well. No one knew about the long nights he spent pacing his office or the early mornings he spent running in the cold snow, trying the revitalise his tired senses after sleep had inevitably evaded him.

A loud crash of drums signaled the end of the last song, bringing a raucous howl from the crowd as symbles and drums crashed together giving way to the soft slow beat of a song she knew well. The somber sounds of brass had her swaying to the music. Closing her eyes briefly as the music flowed through her, tugging hard at her heart as the words overcame her.

_don't sigh a sigh for me_

Commander Rutherford had grabbed her hand as the first line rolled from her lips, caught off guard as she was pulled to her feet, Giggling with childish impulse as he pulled her close. The cigarette that once hung from his lips now discarded on the floor.

_Don't ever cry for me_

He had pulled her tight, one hand around her waist while the other gently held her hand, intertwining his fingers with hers as the music gently played in the background.

_This is goodbye from me, I know I'm losing you_

The rain had picked up, falling heavier now as dark clouds crowded the sky,obscured the moon further. the only light that of the street lamps as Rutherford turned to look at her directly, his eyes locking with hers as they swayed with the music. Deep amber eyes searching for a life raft within a sea of blue.

"I don't want to lose you" it was nothing more than a whisper as it left his lips, low and drawn out as those deep, mesmerising eyes of his stared down at her, catching her off guard as her breath caught in her throat. 

"I don't want this to be goodbye" he continued, ignoring the words the song offered instead changing them to the words that wrapped around his heart like a chain. He had hoped to make his goodbyes, but the sight of her sitting in the rain had washed away any hope of that. The far off look in her eyes had undone him. He was unable to make the clean break he had hoped for, those soulful blue eyes had shown him everything he had wanted to know, everything he had secretly hoped for while they worked tirelessly into the nights. She had soothed his headaches, calmed his fevers and had been the comfort he sought when everything had gone wrong. She hadn't known, of course not. He had hidden his feeling well, putting it down to idiotic childlike infatuation. War had a tendency to bring out the strangest emotions and he had hoped it would pass, willed it to pass so he would not be hurt when the time came to leave. 

_... someone is holding you, sharing the lips that I once knew.._

Every fiber of his being ached as the words tumbled out if her lips, singing subconsciously to the song as they danced under the pale glow of the street lamps. Oh how he wanted to wrap his hand around her neck, to whip the cap of her head and plant a kiss to those tender lips of hers just like in the movies Josephine had somehow procure for the inquisition. Common sense had told him to walk away, to leave her behind but the impulse took over as he moved his hand from hers and grab the hat, lifting it as a cascade of blonde tresses fell from its confines. He could feel the heat rising from her, urging him on more as his own blood cried. It was then that it happened. A cry at the gate, the sound of fists pummeling against the chain fence that protected haven and the shouts of fear as people gathered in the streets.

Haven was about to fall.

**Author's Note:**

> The song they're dancing to is actually a 1950's song by Brenda Lee called Loosing you but we'll gloss over the year, its a damn poignant song and fits well with the setting.


End file.
